"Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find?" Proverbs 20:6
12 years ago tomorrow, I was late for an appointment. It was a VERY important appointment. I was 19 and sitting at a florist waiting for her to finish the wreath of sterling silver roses that would become my bridal veil. I was anxious, nervous, excited, elated. This was the day. The day I had pinned all my childhood hopes and dreams on. My wedding day.
Fast forward 12 years...we are still here. By God's grace and his alone. I am no longer 19. I have learned to appreciate being on time. I have 6 beautiful children. I live in a smallish and full home in Idaho. And I am married to one faithful man. My faithful man. Above all, God's faithful man. 12 years ago I was deluded by the notion that I wanted my husband to be wholly devoted to me. I was insecure, immature, naive. I was needy. I had issues. I feared abandonment. I craved attention.
In these years though, the Lord has given me a new truth. New to me that is, because it has been his truth for all time. And that truth is simply this....My husband must be wholly devoted to GOD. My husband loves me above most things, but not above all things. My husband loves his Lord more than he loves me. For me that means that my husband loves me more perfectly. It means that he will never stray from our marriage bed, not because I captivate him there, but because the Lord has captivated his heart. It means that he is willing to serve me, not because of his love for me, but because of his willingness to die to himself to excersise Christlikeness. It means that he toils away at a job that does not recognize his superiority in skill and ethics, because his sense of responsibility as a man who provides for his home as commanded by God, is more meaningful than high accolades. It means for me that my husband is faithful, not just to me, but to God.
In my husbands faith to his Lord, he fulfills in me a need for security, for being cherished, loved, adored. He has built his house upon a strong foundation. The foundation of God's word. He is a blessing to be married to, joined to forever, living out life alongside of. I am a woman much like the Shulamite maiden of Solomon; "I am my beloved's and his desire is for me" S.O.S. 7:10.
He too is like Solomon..." His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable. This is my beloved and this is my friend. " My best friend. On whom I depend for so many temporal things. Steadfast and True.
12 years has gone by pretty fast. We have had trials and turmoil. We have had days of grace filled exuberence. The Lord has blessed me. He has chosen to bestow upon me a gift of rare value. I don't know why, I am utterly unworthy. I am not deserving of this gift. Yet, my Lord in his infinite grace and good pleasure has chose to give me this gift that many women do not have; a faithful man. A man of God. And I am so thankful and awed.
"What is desired in a man is steadfast love, and a poor man is better than a liar. The fear of the Lord leads to life and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm." Proverbs 19:22,23.
